I found these bible passages on this girls blog and felt obligated to share them you all. I basically couldn't stop laughing while reading all of these... The bible is soo mangled!!! WHO THINKS THIS IS TRUE?!!?!? STEP UP!!! sorry... im just... very... HAHA HA hA H AHH ahh aha... sorry again.. its difficult to contain myself... The Bible is just, so... funny.. again, I apologize if you think its all true and follow this "religiously"... I also pity you... In fact, as the great Mr. T would say "I pitty the fool"... sorry... HA HAHah AHAH AHhahaha... I've taken the liberty of linking all the passages to www.biblegateway.com so you can verify them... SORRY *laughs more histarically* Oh, and I do believe in "god" by the way... Just not the fabricated "altered truth" story book version... I bet the real god laughs at this stuff... sad... funny... mixed emotions... but mainly funny!

Ok, now seriously... I am not "anti-religious" but rather "anti-deception" in regards to the bible's validity. I actually appreciate the benefits of organized religion such as how it brings people together in a positive environment and also the charitable aspects. That said, it is not my intention to instigate you regarding your beliefs. Any belief that assists one in achieving righteous goals is honourable. I only ask that you post a comment on my space explaining your views on the passages I've posted. Any other input will be much appreciated.

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)


Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)


Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. --Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)


Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. --Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)


Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. --Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)


Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. --Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)


Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. --Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)


Cut 200 foreskins off your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. --David (I Samuel 18:27)


Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) --Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)


Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. --Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)


When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." --Samson (Judges 14:1-3)


Kill any husband and take his wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). --David (2 Samuel 11)


Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. --Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)


A wife? Not!!! --Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)